there's no happy medium honestly. no friends? lonely. friends? bpd acts up. everything hurts so much. i should put friends in quotation marks because i dont think i can ever honestly believe people give or gave a shit about me. nothing would change if i wasn't there, i know this to be truth because of how many times i experienced it.
I've never been much for labels, I just like being me but it was always kind of on the back of my mind wtf my sexuality was. I'm pretty comfortable with Bi? But I just found something called "aegosexual" and wow it fits my feelings perfectly.
my bpd is acting up so bad lately like just let me be normal and play video games with these people instead of constantly flipping between lashing out, isolating, or being annoyingly buggy
like just now i felt like snapping at someone because they linked something i already had 4 days ago... so i feel completely ignored and unwanted even though it's not realistic for everyone to keep up with every channel in a discord server of 30+ people